Everyone benefits

Creating a positive classroom community, one that is safe and welcoming for all students, is one of the central roles of a teacher. However, in Vivian Gussin Paley’s book, we see how difficult it can be to balance the needs of all children within a classroom.

            It can be said that Paley’s standard “You can’t say you can’t play” was designed to benefit those children who are routinely rejected by their peers and who struggle to fit in on a daily basis. We are aware that, typically, those who are habitually rejected are socially marginalized kids. I believe implementing a rule, such as “You can’t say you can’t play,” that encourages children to learn to be accepting and understanding of others from a very young age holds the potential for significant positive outcomes for all students.

            As Paley states on page 110, young children often need to be helped in their learning of what the appropriate way to interact with and treat others is, “We must be told, when we are young, what rules to live by. The grownups must tell the children early in life so that myth and morality proclaim the same message while they children are still listening.” I feel that this quote is so true – If we begin in our attempts to show children the value of being empathetic, understanding and respectful of differences at a young age, the implications can be life changing. Kids who are perceived as being the “bosses” or the “mean sisters” can benefit from Paley’s standard immensely. They need to learn to play and interact with those who are different from themselves and not reject others because of something superficial. If they successfully learn to empathize with others at a young age through activities such as play, I believe this will translate into other areas of their lives as they grow older.

            Perhaps more importantly, I believe the children who have never felt welcome at school or had any sense of belonging will be helped significantly by standards such as “You can’t say you can’t play.” Often times, because of their internalizations, kids who are routinely rejected by their peers struggle with that rejection, and the alienation and loneliness that result, into adolescence and adulthood. Do certain students have the right to limit the learning and social experiences of others? Why should one student’s rejection of another be allowed when it is at the expense of a child’s learning and their sense of belonging? Isn’t creating a classroom community where everyone feels safe and valued what we’re after? As educators, we need to find opportunities at young ages, such as during playtime, to teach children acceptance and to empathize with others who are different from them in order to reverse the internalizations that constant rejection can create. As Paley says, every child needs to know that “A full share of the sun is rightfully theirs” and as teachers, it is our responsibility to do our part to ensure that understanding.